Homeschooling | Trendy or Nerdy?

I'm not like everyone else...I was homeschooled. My whole life.

“You mean you’ve NEVER been in a real school before?!”

Okay. There was a summer I took some extra-curricular classes and the first time the bell rang for class sessions to switch, I thought it was a fire alarm, “That must not be the bell because that’s not what it sounds like on TV, right?” *Que the mocking laughter.*

Most people look at homeschooling from the outside in and ask a lot of questions or make snap judgements. My homeschooling experience was really positive, and no, I’m not socially awkward or dress like my mom.

My mom started homeschooling me at the end of the 90’s. At the time we were living down south. If you’re wondering why my parents homeschooled, let me set the stage: Just a few days shy of my 4th birthday the deadliest middle school massacre happened in a town not even a day’s drive away from us. Alcohol was being used by 54% of 8th graders, crack by 1.8% and one in five eight graders were using inhalants. 22.6% of eight graders were using marijuana.(Source) Compare to present statistics: 33.8% in 8th graders drinking and 0.7% of eight graders using marijuana. (Source)

So I’ll let the statistics speak for themselves.

I am hyper-active with a short attention span. (I.e., I was a piece of work.) Asking me to sit in a chair and focus on school books from 9-3 wasn't easy. In the words of 5 year old Ashley, “Boooooring.”

Success starts with a creative learning approach

One of the biggest struggles with homeschooling can be creating the right approach. Many homeschool parents advise, and my experienced mother of 3 adds,“I had to realize, I wasn’t duplicating a brick and mortar school. I put too much pressure on myself because of the expectation. I had no thought of getting creative until homeschooling my second child - but I found things each one loved throughout the curriculum. I’m more successful when getting creative with studious stuff. It may not be fun in every subject and every day, but we incorporate new things throughout the week so it’s not so structured and boring.”

Our daily routine:

Our daily routine wasn't relaxed but it also wasn't rigid. There were no pajamas worn to “school”, we made our bed and ate breakfast; brushed our teeth, and started school. My mom took the educator role, and by the time my sister and I were in middle school, we were making our own schedules for the day, timing out how long each subject needed to take. Setting visual guidelines and keeping a work space free of clutter kept us going when the motivation wasn’t there. Switching it up was key for the hyperactive kid that I was, and when I enrolled in online high school, that provided me the classroom interaction I craved but all of the flexibility of homeschooling.

Social interaction:

We made time for social interaction outside of family, and I think that’s why my sister and I are so well-adjusted. And no, we did not go to a homeschool group. I have my own opinions about it, but I’ll let my mom explain, “We never stuck with a group because all of the groups we tried where not a good fit - socially awkward kids and their ideas of engagement weren’t really exciting. Some of the groups in big cities have great parents who are well versed in different areas that can teach and expand the learning experience. (Chicago has a few co-ops!) My hopes were my kids could socialize with their level or above because if you’re hanging out with socially awkward people you’re not going to develop socially.”

For me socializing looked like soccer clubs in the summer, theater every other time of year, and weekly hang outs with friends. There weren’t rules that I had to, I wanted to. I asked my sister how she felt about homeschooling because with our four years age difference and opposing personalities, she had a very different perspective than my own. We mostly talked about the struggles and realized we felt similar about growing up in a pretty sheltered community. There were pro's and con's, but I'll let her speak for herself.

"I didn't know how to relate to people my age. The transition from small talk to real conversations felt forced to me because I was so used to easily conversing with family and less with people I knew at more of a surface level. I missed out on the second social life everyone else had at school and I felt like I was always trying to play catch up when I had social time with others. I didn't like being out of the loop regarding pop culture knowledge, and I studied every interaction under a magnifying glass to figure out what I was missing. I was constantly judging, "what am I missing? Is what I wear like them? What kind of music do they listen to?"

"I perceive homeschooling so negatively because of how it impacted my self-esteem."

*As an extrovert, I had the same concerns but never questioned it. I pushed forward and without the help of college, really settled into who I was and being confident in it. My sister is an introvert, and that may be what partially colored her experience of being homeschooled. Everyone has a different take away from it, and I'm simply sharing mine.*

It helped me:

I have been able to create my own schedule since I was 12. I know my limits and how to stay productive when I lack motivation. Because of my unique learning style, it’s enabled me to now teach a classroom full of children with different needs and skill sets. I understand the frustrating feeling of not getting a concept and feeling so stupid – so I now challenge myself to approach the same concept in different ways so each student grasps it. Just like a science experiment, I’m constantly sampling what is successful and what needs tweaking. That’s how I keep my classroom growing and my kids engaged. (Don’t get me wrong, some days are easier than others!)

Homeschool gave me the opportunity to learn how I tick. It has even applied to helping me stay motivated and on task as I create content for the blog! A month ago, I was completely overwhelmed at the idea of what I’d be juggling, but now it has become a way of life. It’s all about the little steps and giving yourself grace (shout out to my true friends who called me out on not giving myself enough.)

I duplicated my school approach and color coded my schedule in order to successfully planwith feasible steps. I set a consistent day or time to create content, do a photoshoot, or try a new place to write about. My schedule is not consumed by it; I keep it in small doses so I look forward to those opportunities instead of dreading them. I always have snacks on hand for a heavy writing day and try to pick a place where the music and ambience match the mood. Plush chairs help. But if I’m at home I tend to switch up the scene a lot. (As a child I used to take a break from subjects by turning upside down in my chair and then drawing on the bottom of the kitchen table..you can imagine my parent’s horror the next time we moved.)

If you’re thinking about giving homeschooling a shot but have your reserves, test the water. If you ask questions and begin to experiment, you’ll find the answers you need. And if socialization is the issue, there are many opportunities open to explore, so don't sweat the big stuff and just start with those little steps!

Cheers from C H I C A G O,