Chicago Fashion Show - behind the scenes
(If you're just tuning in, this is a part 2 post! Click here for part one!)
Without a second thought I jumped behind the cause. It is a high priority of mine to stay informed and share with others but also take an active role in spending time and finances to support important causes. Chicago sponsors funded the show and provided over $600 for a non-profit that aims to provide a safe place to heal from abuse, trafficking, exploitation, and more. My favorite quote from the (anonymous) non profit's heart beat is how they “offer a hand-up instead of a hand-out.” While many non-profits aim to help it is not very often you find ones that empower those they service to eventually live a life independent of them. For some, that’s not the nature of their service. However, when someone is serving their community well, it deserves to be celebrated!
The idea of walking in a runway show excited me and I was so wrapped in the great opportunity to highlight an important cause and raise money. But to my surprise, I battled a lot of insecurity as the day neared walking the runway. My determination to show up and raise awareness and finances for something so important wasn’t going to let insecurity get the best of me. However, I found myself having a difficult time being in the moment as my thoughts grew more anxious the closer the event approached. The process to walk the runway wasn’t glamorous but the more I tell the story the more humorous it becomes to me! Don't worry, I wouldn't leave you hanging like that, though. Keep scrolling for the scoop!
The Casting Call
I found an interesting Facebook invite hidden in my notifications. I clicked on You’ve been invited to “Open Casting Call” and scrolled to find that a childhood friend's found me through my posts for Safe Haven In The City and wanted me to audition. The morning of I could not decide what to wear. But ah, who could forget those days of watching America’s Next Top Model. You remember how Tyra Banks encouraged all the models to present a blank slate of fitted but not tight blue jeans and a white tee or tank top? So that’s what I wore... The audition was in an art warehouse on the North West side of Chicago. I could’t figure out how to buzz in but a random art student helped me out and I wandered the hallways till I see a woman climbing up a set of stairs. “Um are you here for the casting call?” I ask. She nodded, “Yeah, but knock on the door because they didn't see anyone out there when I left.” I follow the steps to a basement to see a long hall lined with doors. I knock the door I hear voices behind and the door opens. “Safe Haven In The City! So glad you came!” I put my coat to the side as they asked my measurements and snapped photos of me while I talked. “Okay, great. We’re just going to put on some music and have you walk from here to the door and back. Just show us your runway walk.” The music comes on and all the nerves fade away. I strut like I’m five years old again and reclaiming the dream of walking a runway. “Wow. Have you walked before?” I chuckle and assure them this is a first for me. They say, “talk soon.” And I’m out the door.
The Evolving Emotion
The month after receiving my acceptance email I continued to put the event to the back of my mind. The first fitting I tried on a few pieces, some a little more daring than my usual. But it was lighthearted and fun while I chatted with the event coordinators and stylists. The next fitting was at a bridal shop and they picked out a bridal gown for me to walk in. I was so nervous to go in a bridal shop as a single lady so I took my friend Maddie with me for moral support. I walked into Jade Bridal and Winnie approached me, “I have the perfect dress for you! It just came in.” I slipped in the dressing room and stepped into the gown. Winnie helped me move from the dressing room to the viewing area as the lace train followed me. The natural light drifted through the glass walls around the studio and made the dress sparkle. It was an out of body experience, wasn’t this supposed to be experienced in a different way?
I shrugged off my questions and stared in the mirror. “I’m in a. Wedding. Dress.” I think I was in shock. The dress was beautiful, Winnie was wonderful, and the shop wide windows let the sun shine in. It was such a magical moment but I felt out of place. The long dress was longer than my legs unaltered and strutting in a long gown and high heels was a little nerve-wracking but I was up for the challenge. The next week was full of hair and nail appointments, while trying to convince my friends to help me apply my sunless tan. Don't worry, Rodan and Field's has a great foam tanner my friend lent me and I forgot I was flexible enough to reach that weird spot on my back. You know, the one angle we all have a hard time reaching, ha! I watched runway shows to practice the strut and the gaze. None of it felt natural but looking back, I think it was really all about how I was approaching it.
Down in my heart I knew that worrying about how the event would turn out, who would come, what to do on the runway, or what color I was going to paint my nails had no real effect on the end result. But what I also didn’t realize until after the show closed was how none of it mattered. The audition proved the way I walked and looked was acceptable for the show. Why was I altering my appearance?
Perception of Beauty
I think I find myself talking about this topic so much because it really is a struggle for me. How often do we change things about ourselves because we think other people will like it more? I find myself fighting for individuality while also subscribing to the same cookie-cutter template. When we see everyone’s highlight reel pressed against our face, we forget to ask what we really want. Blondes don’t have more fun. Traveling isn’t the only way to find yourself. Maybe runway shows are glamorous once you stop analyzing every little detail (I’ll let you know if that ever happens.) Life is a balance and the older I get the more I see the mantras I hold onto and repeat to myself truly do have a lasting impact in how I live my day-to-day life.
So what matters most to you? Is it making an impact with your time and money? Is it pursuing the next greatest adventure for the most likes on social media? Is it living for what others think about you?
The point of walking the runway show was to empower others to join the cause. At the end of the day it didn’t matter how I looked! And maybe that’s all that Safe Haven In The City is. Growing a community of like-minded folks working towards accepting ourselves for who we are and giving back to the causes that excite us. Either way I would encourage you to dig into your processes and passions, take the time and ask the why. Doing the work only puts us further from where we were before.
There have been a few resources that have helped me center myself in the moment and I'd love to share them with you! I hope they inspire you in centering your focus and building a greater future.
Podcasts: The Next Right Thing and Head to Heart
Playlists: (Spotify) 2019 Renewal and Chill Lofi Study Beats
Community: Club Worthy
pssst.. I've saved a little surprise for those of you who read all the way to the bottom! I have so many more show photos I want to show you but they're hidden in this week's newsletter!
The Show
Okay, I saved the best for last. I don't want to be a tease but I had to ask what ya'll wanted to know and it took me a while to compile all those answers!
I was very fortunate to show up and they had a makeup and hair crew ready so my nervous fingers weren't trying to do my makeup and hair. Many of the girls were sweet and giggling back stage while we waited for the show to start. But we all were SO nervous. I think most of us were just scared that we'd be the one to trip and fall on the slippery concrete in our sky high stilettos. Our dress rehearsal was a blur and all I remember is the director telling me to slow down because I was walking like a true Chicagoan: in a rush and on a mission😂 can you relate? Once the show finished there was only one thing I wanted to do: DEEP DISH PIZZA. And then for the next 3 weeks I ate like trash to celebrate. Whoops, not exactly a balanced “cheat day” but I’m back to gearing up for the Shamrock Shuffle. Stay tuned. I can’t wait to share the mission behind the race with you!
CHEERS from C H I C A G O,
