The Art of Disconnecting
Since the beginning of 2019 I’ve felt a growing need to step away and reevaluate Safe Haven’s true north. This is meant to be a place to share passions and interests together - a special oasis for locals and tourists alike. Somewhere along the way I lost my direction in the excitement of it all.
Have you ever felt like you’re multitasking a million things in one moment? One day I woke up and realized I didn’t have the capacity to be spinning every plate in the air at full speed. Acknowledging it was the first step. Now I had to pick what plate to stop spinning and decision fatigue worsened. So I did what I could. I started pumping the brakes.
Raise your hand if you have a stroke of genius and try to delete your social media apps? I commend if you lasted longer than a week because I was reinstalling them within hours🤣 Attempting to disconnect from social media is no easy task. It felt like I was drawing away from true friends. I was always afraid of missing out on something great but the time I spent observing and comparing sucked a lot of life away I could have spent surrounded by my true community. Some of the joy I felt about the community I had built on Instagram itself was waning. I began to feel like I had nothing unique to offer. I was seeking what was life giving and slowly realizing what didn’t feed my purpose or energy.
FOMO is a real thing and when we get caught in the comparison trap it can hold us back from dreaming/goal setting/ reaching our true purpose. I began to pull away from events that even though I was excited to be invited to them I knew they weren’t a great fit with my mission or a purposeful use of my time. It took time but I was able to sift through what excited me and gave me life. The more I stepped away the more I found joy in the little things again. I captured moments without needing to post them and instead of watching my friends live their lives on IG I gave them a call. Very slowly I was able to set my phone down, eventually go days without instagram, and not feel like a limb had been severed from me.
Maybe you see it, too. The reality we see is that our phones have become our security blankets, our constant news report, our 24/7 social connection. Our brains haven’t adapted to the constant stream of information and until recently I was not flexing the muscle of walking away to take time for myself. It may look different for everyone but for me, it’s making whatever space I can to rest and release. Be it taking my journal to work and writing during my lunch break or an evening yoga class, or a Saturday cup of coffee outside of my apartment. All of those things remind me: you have worth. You serve a purpose by L I V I N G. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. You can embrace all that you are because you. Are. Enough.
What a big difference a tiny, intentional step can make. It wasn’t without accountability, though. Most days I have close friends I chat with and we’d exchange the goals and feelings we had about our days. Every other week I’d check in with my bible study girls and we’d share real highs and lows. Therapy has proven to take quite the load off mentally and has been a massive improvement in my headspace. Pushing past what-ifs and simply going in with an attitude of “let’s find out.” Very thankful for these blessings because not many my age have access to all three. If you are looking for a community or a therapist in the local area, feel free to reach out! Part of the Haven is having connections and creating a community around each other that supports and encourages. Have a lovely Memorial Day.
Cheers from Chicago,
Ashley Brianna
